am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
