We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
