Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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