i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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