are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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