I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
