is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
