What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
