if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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