to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
