you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
