Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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