We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
