your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
God gave him joint rollers for hands
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize