Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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