How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize