I accidentally had phone sex last night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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