so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
