you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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