if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
