i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Found your dick twin last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
