I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
