i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
