So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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