She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
