So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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