haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
