I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
