Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize