I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
