porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
