Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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