Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Two words: blizzard sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
