i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize