hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
