On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
