you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
