i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
