you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
not ubering you a puppy
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
