He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He kissed a someone with a penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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