Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
