got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
