Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
