How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
