all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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