I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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