My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
