Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
now i know why i became what i already was.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
