Need sex. Gaining weight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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