he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize