I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i now understand why vodka
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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