i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are a genius and a whore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
