Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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