Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
