Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
my liver is dry heaving
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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