i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize