My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
