I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
