well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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