Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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